Looking Into The Window & The Card

Looking Into The Window
Sea, seascapes, mountain ranges and forestry
Exiting the marketplace of fear
Into the wilderness of “Who knows what is going on?”
And
“Darling please make me a coffee for the road trip”
Oh those endless late summer evenings
Stretching out into the plane of existence
I can’t find my car keys
I can’t find my morality 
I can’t find my ability 
I think I’m losing it

Yesterday I pointed at myself 
I pointed to my reflection in the mirror 
A window to my soul
And
A discussion on what I should wear
And who I should be 
And how to live
And how to surrender
The conversation has ended sour
My phone call with him was a fight 
I am not a saint or a sinner
I just 
Am 


The Card
The truth feels lighter now that it’s over
Done and dusted
Fickle and Fermented 
Wounded no longer 

I travelled far and wide with only a card
A masterpiece crash course in how to love 
And how to grieve the loss of my dignity 
I wandered for hours and sought out those flowers
And I sat on that cherry-wine bench waiting 
For you 
That sigh, that moment when you know you’re over it
But it never came
It never came because it is already here

Push me to my limits
And watch me falter and fly and flame
But watch me pick up the fallen pieces
Patch myself up like a quilt 
Stitch together the memories, the feelings
I am better now.


Amy Alexander (she/her) is a writer, podcast host, and a recent International Relations graduate from the University of Portsmouth. Currently, she is a freelance writer for several women-led and cultural magazines and publications, as well as self-publishing works on Substack. Amy wishes to pursue a career in diplomatic and foreign affairs, as well as write poetry and creative non-fiction for the heart and soul.

Website: www.theamyalexander.substack

Instagram: @amyalexander__

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Drifting

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Tings & Need to Know Basis