On Father's Day I dreamed about you

On Father’s Day I dreamed about you


Nearly a year has gone by


And I’ve thought of you maybe a handful of times

With each passing, intrusive thought


I roll my eyes


And continue my day

But


On Father’s Day I dreamed about you


I dreamed of all the things I’ve wanted to say to you

The profanities I’ve buried inside for nearly a year

All came bursting out

Each syllable leaving my lips


Sharpened and piercing you


The way your lack of words have pierced me

On Father’s Day I dreamed about you

At the end of the dream


You drove off


Crying and pathetic

No apology


No embrace


Just driving off


Again without a word

Abandoning me

It’s not new


Should be used to it

But still


It hurts


And


I hate you for it

I want to say that I could forgive

For your inaction and bigotry

But I never will


Even if we reconcile

I will never forgive you

On Father’s Day I dreamed about you


And I woke up


Not relieved for finally getting to say all of those words to you

But sad

Because it was only a dream

On Father’s Day I dreamed about you

And I hate you for it

by Rae Lee