UNWANTED VISITOR

Why when you want relax

An’ jus’ chill out

You neighbour come 'roun'

An’ wan’ run she mouth.

You open de door

An’ before you say ‘come in’

She inside you house

Wid you bottle ah Gin.

She tek out she Embassy

An’ you heart start fu grieve

‘Cause once she start smoke

It mean she nah leave!

She start pan de Gin

An’ bwoy she drink plenty

But whenever she visit

She two han’ dem empty.

Now she start drink

She ready fi chat

An’ it’s only now she a tek off

She coat an’ she hat.

Victim number one

Pan she gossip agenda

Is she best friend, an she enemy

A girl they call Brenda.

She chat ‘bout Brenda

She say Brenda chat ‘bout she

An’ when de two a dem togedda

Me know dem chat ‘bout me.

She say she want to sue de council

She twis’ she ankle, the other day

An’ it was pan dem prapatee

So dem mus’ pay.

Now she’s a strong woman

But I really don’t tink

Dat she had any business;

a wash she foot

In a public toilet sink!

She a sip sip she drink

Now she hungry an’ want eat

She cuss me say me can’t cook

Cause me no eat meat.

After she eat

She use de phone

She start tek out she plait

An’ beg me a comb.

She half-finish she hair

an’ say she a go

She put on she coat

an she hat.

She si’ dong,

drain she glass…

An’ still she a chat!

Me put on de T.V

Fu try drown she out

But not even concord

Is louder dan she big mouth!

At last she ready fu leave

Me walk she to de door

She borrow ten pound

An’ chat five minute more.

De only reason she leave

Is ‘cause de bottle a Gin don

Lord have mercy

If she did ever spot de rum!

by Sheba Montserrat

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